Take this quiz...
Can you be yourself with your partner or do you feel the need to conform to hisher image of you
A. I can be myself mostly
B. Sometimes
C. She disapprove of the way I am, of what I do or say
Does your partner shift the blame for what's happening to himher to you
A. Never
B. Sometimes
C. Usually
Do you value your partner's opinion more than yours
A. I value my own opinion about myself more
B. Sometimes, I doubt myself and rely on hisher opinion
C. I tend to rely on hisher opinion of me
4. Do you agree with himher to keep peace
A. Rarely or never
B. Sometimes
C. Most by, or all the time
Do you feel equal and valued in the relationship
A. Yes, equal and valued
B. Sometimes I feel valued but not equal.
C. Neither equal nor valued
Do you keep secrets from him her when you think knowing them will affect the relationship
A. We have very few secrets and none that can affect our relationship
B. Sometimes
C. Yes, often
Are your conversations about what is happening now or does the past often crop up
A. Mostly, we are in the present
B. Sometimes, the past comes up but we resolve it
C. It's often that we argue about what has happened years ago and it turns into a blame game
In an argument or conversation, do either of you have to be right to admit mistakes, apologise and learn to better
A. Yes
B. Sometimes, neither of us apologise
C. We rarely apologise or admit our mistakes
Do you trust your partner to deliver on agreements
A. She tends to stick to agreements
B. Sometimes
C. She rarely ever remembers promises, agreements
Is your partner fair in his her interactions with others
A. Mostly fair
B. She can be fair sometimes
C. Is rarely fair
Is your partner honest when She talks about how she feels or can heshe be manipulative
A. Mostly honest
B. Honest sometimes
C. Can be manipulative
Can you trust your partner with responsibilities, e.g. with a child or a task
A. Is mostly reliable
B. Reliable occasionally
C. Mostly unreliable
Can you talk to himher about anything at all
A. Most of the time, I can express myself freely about most things
B. Some things are best not discussed
C. I have to be careful about what I say and when I say it (eg. when heshe is in a bad mood, stressed, tired or drunk)
Is violence part of the relationship
A. Never, even when we argue
B. Occasionally, but the violent partner always apologises
C. Yes
Are you emotionally overdependent on your partner
A. No
B. Sometimes
C. I often feel I am nothing with out himher
Is your partner emotionally dependent on you
A. No
B. Sometimes
C. She won't be able to cope without me
Scores For every A. give yourself a 10. For every B. give yourself a 5, and a 0 for every C.
The verdict The higher your score, the healthier your relationship. If your score is below 30, you might want to consider whether you'd be healthier and happier without this person in your life.
Source: Times of India
BDST: 1659 HRS, SEP- 06, 2015
Edited by: Sharmina Islam, Lifestyle Editor