You can teach yourself how to resist temptation. According to American psychologist Walter Mischel — specialising in personality theory — resisting temptation is a learned science. Anyone can be taught to control immediate urges - the key is to keep the mind busy. With temptations piling up on our plates this festive season, it's the perfect time to train our mind to control our immediate urges. Here's how...
The marshmallow test
Mischel conducted a psychological experiment called 'The Marshmallow Test' in the 1970s, which has more relevance now than ever. He carried out a series of studies on delayed gratification. In simple terms, he gave a few children a choice - they could either get one small reward (marshmellows mostly) immediately or two small rewards if they waited for a while. Years later, he found that the children who had waited for two small prizes had better life outcomes (better scores, better BMI) than the kids who wanted immediate gratification.
With so many temptations and distractions in our digital age, the mind that knows how not to enslave itself will emerge as the winner. The trick lies in distracting yourself with other things. Says psychiatrist Dr Avdesh Sharma, Our lives are full of choices. If you want to tame your temptation, just keep that monkey mind busy with other activities. The secret lies in telling your mind constantly that there's a better deal you are saving yourself for, when you resist the present temptation. Practise a new response the moment you get tempted.
The foundation of meditation and the Buddhist philosophy lies in controlling passions and cravings. You can learn to cultivate an impossible amount of willpower as you wash the dishes or just drive to work by simply saying 'no' to yourself, aloud. Adds Dr Sharma, Indulge yourself with replacement activities. Do the smallest jobs, like watering the plants or going for a walk.
A report in Psychological Science tells us why, at times, we may not even realise something is a bad habit until it's too hard to let go. Let's say, it's taken a lot of willpower for you to stop yourself from blowing up at your workplace during the day; so, you reward yourself with cheese-laden comfort food that evening. Or, since you are on a strict diet and have resisted good food, you reward yourself by making frequent trips to the mall to buy clothes. Before you know it, your rewards have turned into punishment because you are compromising your health or losing money that you could save.
Life coach Malti Bhojwani says, The ones who learn the art of self-control — be it emotional, physical or material — have happier minds. It takes time to replace old habits. It's essential not to keep repeating old patterns in your head.
Fly-on-the-wall approach
This is another scientific approach to resisting temptation. When you feel tempted, pretend you are a fly on the wall, or that you're someone else - a better version of yourself. Think aloud how your better version would behave. It's a great way to control anger and improve yourself. This is also the art of self-distancing, and developing positive skills.
The interesting thing is that if you believe only you have power to control your mind, your willpower will only increase in the time to come. Also, one has to stop indulging in feelings of denial - that you are not good enough if you haven't been able to let go of any bad habits, or fallen back into the bad habits after resisting them for some time. It may take time, but even a failed effort to tame temptations, is a step in the right direction. Look at it as a positive step.
