When I had been trying to get a speech therapist appointment for my daughter, I found it very challenging to get one. Day by day the crowds of serving parents are increasing at the doorsteps of child specialists. In families where one or both parents are serving, emotional neglect can be an unintended consequence of the demands placed on the parents. Emotional neglect refers to the failure of parents and relatives to provide necessary emotional support, validation and connection. In modern societies, day long service by parents can strain familial bonds, particularly between parents and their children. The frequent absences, emotional distance and unstable home environments contribute to this neglect which leads to psychological challenges and developmental delays in affected children.
Like in other countries, the number of working parents in Bangladesh is increasing significantly day by day. One of the most apparent sources of emotional neglect in the families is the physical absence of a serving parent due to job requirements. These absences of parents leave children without a primary source of emotional support and guidance during critical developmental stages. Generally, up to 5 years is considered as development stage of children. During this period, the lack of consistent parental presence deprives children of the opportunity to form secure attachments, which are essential for healthy emotional development. Attachment theory suggests that children rely on close relationships with parents and relatives to develop a sense of security, trust and self-worth. Without this, they may struggle with anxiety, depression and difficulty forming relationships later in life.
Additionally, when serving parents return from duty, they may be emotionally distant due to the stress. This emotional distance exacerbates the feeling of neglect, as the child cannot connect with the parent on a deep emotional level. Even when present, the parent’s inability to provide emotional attunement and support can hinder the child’s ability to process their emotions. It is obvious that parents also cannot resist the urge to scroll through the news feed of social media, to resolve some familial issues, to watch movies in Netflix to refresh their minds while staying at home. As such, there remains a thin line between passing time at home and giving a quality time to children. Absence of quality time leads to unresolved emotional conflicts.
The emotional neglect experienced by children of serving parents can also lead to cognitive and behavioral delays. Children who do not receive adequate emotional validation and support may have difficulty regulating their emotions and managing stress. This can lead to behavioral issues such as aggression, defiance, or withdrawal. They subconsciously create an imaginary world of their own. The deprived children often dream, play, laugh and speak in their imaginations which seems meaningless to others. Moreover, emotional neglect often disrupts cognitive development. Children raised in emotionally supportive environments tend to perform better academically, as they feel more secure and confident in their abilities. On the flip side, emotionally neglected children may struggle with focus, motivation, and problem-solving skills due to anxiety and emotional turmoil. The lack of emotional support also affects their ability to handle challenges or setbacks. It results in lower academic achievement and fewer opportunities for personal growth.
Another major consequence of emotional neglect by serving parents is impaired social development. Children who lack emotional support at home often struggle to form healthy peer relationships. They may experience social anxiety, fear of rejection, or difficulty understanding and responding to social cues. All of these can make it challenging to connect with others. One of the outcomes of emotional neglect is the Social Communication Disorder (SCD). Children who do not develop strong emotional bonds with their parents often lack the foundation necessary to build trust and empathy with friends. They remain indifferent to mix with people outside of their close circle which ultimately leads to feelings of isolation.
It is important to acknowledge that not all children of serving parents experience emotional neglect or long-term negative effects. Some studies suggest that children in emotionally neglected families develop resilience, adaptability and independence due to the unique challenges they face. These children often become more resourceful and capable of handling adversity. They can overcome the impact of over pampering as well as constant supervision of parents. However, resilience does not negate the potential harm caused by emotional neglect. Even children who appear resilient may suffer from unresolved emotional issues that manifest later in life. Furthermore, resilience is often contingent on the presence of other supportive relationships, such as extended family, school counselors, or therapists. Without these external sources of support, the emotional neglect experienced in the home environment can still have damaging effects.
Leaving jobs to address emotional neglect is like cutting off the head to cure a headache. The first step to alleviating this issue is to raise awareness among working parents about emotional neglect. Many working parents initially fail to recognize that their children are becoming trapped in loneliness. By the time they notice the effects of emotional deprivation, it’s often too late. Parents must regularly assess their children’s emotional well-being and mental development. Most importantly, they must give ‘Quality Time’ to their children—not just time, but meaningful, engaged interaction. Often, parents are hesitant to admit that their children require special care. They may be reluctant to consult a child psychiatrist, visit special child care centers, or arrange for occupational or speech therapy. However, unlike in the past, there are now many government and non-government special child care centers in Bangladesh. Working parents should take advantage of these resources for their children’s development and seek counseling for them if needed. Additionally, parents should expose their children to social gatherings as much as possible to promote healthy social development.
The emotional neglect experienced by children of serving parents can have profound and lasting effects on their emotional, cognitive and social development. The absence of a parent, both physically and emotionally, can leave children feeling unsupported and insecure, leading to behavioral issues, cognitive delays and difficulties in forming healthy relationships. While some children in emotionally neglected families may develop resilience, the potential harm caused by emotional neglect is undeniable and should not be overlooked. To mitigate these effects, greater attention must be paid to supporting both the emotional needs of children and the mental health of serving parents, ensuring that families can thrive despite the unique challenges they face.
Md Selim Reza
The writer is an army officer pursuing MPA at BIGM
BDST: 1954 HRS, OCT 19, 2024
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